Thursday, 31 July 2014

Where am I?

So how the heck have I been doing? It's been awhile since I've done a personal update. Lets recap. This past year I've gone fully vegan and I don't ever see myself going back. The previous year I've gone vegan for about 8 months but to be honest I wasn't fully educated enough to be successful. What I mean by that is I had the best intentions but 
a) I had no idea how to eat vegan. I knew becoming vegan was the best thing I could do for the animals and for our planet as I had researched enough in that sense, but I hadn't researched what foods I should eat, and how to maintain a healthy vegan lifestyle. I honestly ate nothing but veggie burgers 24/7 and felt such an attraction to cheese. ( i have no attraction to dairy now at all and actually find it repulsive.)

b) I didn't realize that everything vegan isn't automatically healthy. Many vegan foods are very high in fat. Eating vegan doesn't mean having meat and cheese substitutes in every meal. In fact, I don't often have veggie meat and cheese any more.

Now that i'm completely comfortable in a vegan lifestyle i'm not worries about that. I know that no one is going to walk by with a piece of cheese and have it affect me. It doesn't mean anything to me anymore. As far as alcohol goes I'm slowly starting to feel that way about it. As many of you know on my birthday I broke my sobriety and drank. It was a mistake which I learned from all of the terrible feelings I had afterwords and If I could take it back I would.  Shortly after I decided that maybe I was able to be in control. For a week following I experimented with drinking only 1 or 2 drinks an evening. I actually was pretty successful in limiting myself. However... after that one week my depression came back in full swing. I remember laying down in bed crying about how I would never be the person I wanted to be. I said I would never be a healthy body weight, I'd never make enough money, I'd never be a good enough artist, I'd never be a good enough girlfriend. My motivation for healthy eating was going out the window. Then I asked myself if it was all worth it. Was me having those 2 drinks  night worth the depression and self loathing, the money, and instant 6 pound weight gain it caused me? Of course not.

 After that week I swore off alcohol again and have remained sober since. It's simply not something that fits in with my life anymore. If this is something you struggle with and you want to quit, please don't be afraid to ask for support. If you don't want to quit, than that is your choice, but for me this is mine.
I've been living raw till 4, but If I'm being honest this past little while I have not been 100% as healthy as I could have been. During the day I've been 100% healthful, but at night time I've been eating too many high fat foods! This tells me I haven't been eating enough fruits and veg during the day to stay satiated.  I know I'm so close to achieving optimal health my dear readers. I'm almost there. And so starting tomorrow you will see a lot more updates on my personal progress. I was also considering doing "what I eat in a day" blogs to show you how I eat and live.

This is my journey. If I could be perfect in a day we'd all do it wouldn't we? I'm remaining positive because I know I've come from a place of eating disorders, alcohol abuse and depression. Just knowing I've tackled those demons tells me the rest should be a breeze!
Don't forget to leave any questions or comments below. Let me know you're reading friends!
Until next time
Stay vibrant,

Raw Mermaid

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